Retarded Student: Oversimplified Object

public class RetardedStudent
{
//Retarded Student's variables
private int iq;
private int eq;
private int gpa;

//Retarded Student's methods
public void RetardedStudent (int iq1, int eq1, int gpa1)
{ iq=iq1; eq=eq1; gpa=gpa1; }

public double jobSearchPotential ()
{ jobSearchSuccess = 0.3 * iq + 0.55 * eq + 0.15 * gpa;
return jobSearchSuccess;
}
}

Welcome to the Machine

Hundreds of students will pass out the back end of fifteen years of formal education within two weeks. Once cherubic, harmlessly mischievous and with souls so pure the deadliest threat they could summon was "I'll tell your mom", they now ride conveyor belts, like stale sushi, toward the yawning jaws of the machine.

cos smoking ain't allowed in school

Salesman & Trader?

Quotes from an Interview

"Well it's simple, if you just don't see yourself driving a Porsche in under 5 years, maybe you're not cut out for this job."

"Have you taken a look around our car park?"

"We're talking about 24 year olds who bring home $360,000 in bonus to their mothers. And you were expecting what, 1/10th of that for a yearly compensation? Give me a break."

"In a good year, salespeople made $6,000,000. We've had salespeople buy themselves a unit in Sentosa Cove, a DB-9, and go for a three week holiday, and still not know what to do with the cash."

"If you're wondering what I'm making now, well, it's safe to say it's not anything less than seven figures. Not including the cents digits, obviously."

"At the end of the day, it's whether you wanna be a BSD. You know, Liar's Poker? BSD? If you wanna be a hotshot, go for it.

-----

If I needed a way to stick it to the guys who think they've got the biggest balls around, maybe I mighta just stumbled upon it.

Goods & Services Tax

Overheard in school:

GST = Good Sex Techniques

what it is that i need to do

i can't graduate peacefully without leaving a legacy. i need to show people how shit gets done.

i need to muster the biggest F--K YOU double digits to the guys who think they've got the biggest balls around.

Trade Suggestion

Long EUR/JPY

it has broken through a resistance level set in feb and tested in mar. looks like a bad ass move. EMA crossover just achieved.

buena suerte

Goalkeep-speak

Buffon of Juventus is gonna kick your ass....

Gigi Buffon and the Italian male psyche:

“I’ve been called gay, a facist; I’ve read how my relationship is in tatters, I’ve been called a loser, I can deal with all that. But mess with my family and

we’ve got a problem.”

@$$ K-k

I'm going to kick ass. I'm going to kick so much ass, it's not even funny. I'm going to kick asses like you've never seen asses get kicked. I'm going to kick asses so far they'd go one round around the planet and nearly hit me in the back of the head 3 seconds later, but they don't, because I'm such a professional I know just how much I have to hold back on my kick. When I kick ass I cleave galaxies in two. It's not everyday you see an ass kicking so epic that you fear for your own. I'm about to unleash so mega-brutally and I'm going to bring back the asses of a hundred thousand men left assless. You'll never look at an ass without feeling the twitch and the spasm in your leg ever again.

Motley Crue Friday Anthem...

Girls Girls Girls

Why I want a Bass?

Cos i wanna be bad ass.

B.ass.

critter twitter

hai, r we frens

The Blue Caterpillar

When I was a kid, one of the first instances of secondary smoking I witnessed happened in a scene from Alice in Wonderland (cartoon). The blue caterpillar took a drag from his hookah and blew smoke rings at Alice to ask who r u.

he was a cool guy.

now he's even cooler in the Tim Burton movie and he's been christened Absolem.

"Stupid girl."

Profit like the devil

"Woe to You Oh Earth and Sea,
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath
because he knows the time is short.
Let him who have understanding
reckon the number of the beast
for it is a human number.
Its number is six hundred and sixty six."

-Number of the Beast

Iron Maiden

School Shoes

I love being in school. It's fun hanging out with people you enjoy being around.

Now that I've quit Tommy Chevy's A-team at The Office, I'm gonna have more time to stay in school to study, practice Java, and savour the final moments of the schoolboy days.

p/s I don't like to wear socks, you can see that above. socks, ties and cufflinks are shackles that remind you of your place on the corporate ladder. i only wear all three articles for interviews. cufflinks are redundant. too many kids i see around in school wear these proudly. the ones with the bigger egos even have their names embroidered onto their sleeves. that... i guess is only useful if you go to the laundromat and don't want weirdos taking your shirt away without the security of being able to say 'check the name on that french cuff, hobo, now hand it back.'